poems

so i've been going through a bunch of my stuff getting ready to move, and i found some old poems i wrote while in california and then heidy kartchner gave me back one that she had that i wrote the last week of school so i figured i'd post them so i'd have them for later !

first is just one that i wrote about some thoughts i had at my first mutual activity while i lived in california. i didn't know anyone yet, and we were going ice skating. i had plenty to think about though and learned a lot from the ice. lol

Ode to an ice rink

Stepping onto the ice
I’ve never felt so alone
Not only new faces surround me
But things I can’t know til I’m grown

This ice has been battered
like me it’s been bruised
Its hopes have been shattered
By blades on my shoes
But its biggest mistakes
When rightly repaired
Are the ones I can’t feel with my skates

I see girls holding hands
Will each choose to support?
Or will one lose her balance
Help the other fall short
One girl does a jump
Neat tricks of all kinds
Because speed is required
Her fall is harder than mine

Stepping off of the ice
I can tell that I’ve grown
who thought from an ice rink
there was so much to be known

okay this one is one that i wrote at school one day in california. a boy at my high school had died the day before. i had never met him, but it caused a big stir at the school and got me to thinking.

The cycle of life creeps up to your path
in each turn you take on your journey
unconscious thoughts turn up each time
and give life it’s meaning and glory
birth marriage death—each a new page
but each brings new hope with new worry

the power of life, creation, and love
accompanies each son or daughter
whether struggling, secure, or down in the dumps
a new face makes your world brighter
but each child grows, the joy soon forgot
and life turns to a new chapter

then you see love the promise it brings
when life is so cruel and mundane
marriage pops up and you rest assured
‘cause life’s meaning shows up again
But what wil she do whenever she sees
That she someday will be without him

At last you meet death, it can’t be avoided
But a necessity for life
you learn a new love that pierces your soul
and gives your road a new bump called strife
but you put that behind you and discover that
you still have to continue your drive

then when hope’s disappeared, and your hearts only a hole
a miracle helps you go on.

and this last one is the most recent. it's probably the closest to my heart, so don't make fun of this one. lol. uhm i wrote it when i was convincing myself that EAC would be okay and that i didn't need time for me to go perform. yeah. anyways

Twelve years here and I’m done
I’m leaving for real now
I’ve made it through this messed up place
And now I’m wondering how

I’ve never been the perfect kid
Unless you’ve seen my grades
I learned here how to work real hard
But also to misbehave

There were times that I knew
People looked at me with admiration
I’ve seen that look in people’s eyes
That look of appreciation

But then came times when I knew
People saw through my sorry act
A look of questioning filled those eyes
And they’d turn their back

But life gave me a miracle!
I regained confidence
I was blessed with sunlight
After living in a trench

I spent a year flying high
And reminding me of me
I learned about what bondage is
And that I was finally free

But now I new turn takes the stage
And I don’t know what to do
Again I’ll get that awful look
Of disappointment from you

Everyday I’m told the same:
“do what will make YOU happy”
I wish that someone else just saw
That this choice has nothing to do with ME

Yes, it’s MY life but I know me
I know I’ll make the most
Because this virus gets passed along
I’m just the current host

Life’s not about what I choose
To make MY life the best
If anybody else could see
It’d be a weight off of my chest

What I do affects the world
And people who love me
So why did I choose to
Make it hard to be who I will be

I’ll step it up and take the challenge
I’m not known to back down
I’ll make my life what it could be
And not continue bound

12 years from now I’ll look down and see
what’s on this page
and realize through smiling eyes
that this was just a phase

life will goe on no matter what
and I know the part I’ll play
I’ll choose to be who I know I am
By what I choose today

Maybe this seems a selfish choice
But it’s not about money
Its about knowing all I can
When my father in heaven calls me

uhm i love poetry. it is one of the easiest ways for me to express myself. sometimes it's REALLY gay and corny, but for some reason, when life rhymes it makes more sense.