Modesty

I’m a 22 year old female. I am 5’7” and normally around 115 pounds. Weight comes off easily for me and I find myself struggling to gain weight more often then I struggle with losing it.

I'm not that hot blond, whose shorts are evidently too sort, walking into a YSA activity showing off toned golden legs, who makes all their heads turn. I struggle when that girl walks in the room, not because I couldn't be her, but because I COULD be her. 

It would be easy. 

I have it in my budget to tan once a week and I would LOVE the extra Vitamin D and warmth that comes from UV rays. I have a free gym at my apartment complex and I have enough time to spend an hour 3 days a week to tighten up. And as much as I love fast food, it would be easy to cut out of my diet (and my budget).

I. Could. Be. That. Girl.

I want to share a couple of experiences that have happened this week that made me take a step back and reevaluate my view of modesty.

Sunday at Stake Conference I was approach by a young man. It was evident that he was not a member of the church. He asked me my name and looked surprised when I said Elise. He then told me I looked just like this girl he knows in Texas. I laughed and explained that I have a familiar face and get approached with a doppelganger comment about once a month. His response was “she’s really pretty, you’re really pretty.” And gave me enough information to facebook stalk her.

My roommate and I laughed about the experience as we drove home. Later I took the opportunity to find pictures on facebook of this girl that I apparently looked a lot alike. I was sad and offended at what I found. Every picture of this girl was borderline pornographic. She was a party animal that spent most of her time in bars wearing very little clothing. My heart sunk and my eyes teared as I contemplated what the young man that approached me was thinking. I don’t even want to know what his view had been of me because of the lack of respect the doppelganger had for her body.

Now, story number two. I was informed this week that the boy I just broke-up with shared a single bed with a girl this weekend at an overnight event. Not a sin I know and not necessarily something that I would never do, but also not safe. I couldn’t help but think about the fact that when that exact opportunity had presented itself just weeks prior while he was dating me, it wasn’t even considered and we cuddled late before going to sleep in separate rooms.  It has been made evident in my recent relationships early on where my line is. The sad thing is, I was so jealous of this girl when I found out. But quickly that jealously turned to sadness as I thought of how sad it was that she was not shown, neither did she demand, the same respect this boy had shown me.

Monday night as I laid awake in bed, not able to sleep because of the battle I was having in my mind about modesty, another memory was brought to my mind. 

About 2 months ago, I sat in front of my bishop and had the last of a series of interviews to be able to receive my own endowment. There were a couple of things my bishop said to me that I would not have remembered if I hadn’t had these experiences this weekend. At one point he was talking about dating and men and he made a comment about the line in dating and not letting a boy disrespect my wishes or body. I looked up at him and smirked. He quickly added, “I can tell you don’t have that problem Elise, do you?” He was aware and I was aware that I am the type of person that boys respect.  As I stood up to leave that appointment my bishop gave me a hug and said, “You’re a good girl, Elise. I can tell.”

Remembering this experience with my sweet bishop reminded me who I am and who I want to be. I am not that girl who turns heads when she walks in the room. I am not that girl that dresses immodestly to make herself look more desirable. I am not the girl in my office that flirts with the boss to get ahead. I am not the girl that shares a bed.

I am Elise Jones. I am flaming white. I know what I want. I am bold. I am respected. I am a good girl.

Let's Write A Poem

Do I feel the fire,
the motivation to try?
Or have I caught the current
that helps me float by?

I trust my 'instincts'
more like His voice
But trust will mean nothing
if I don't make the choice

What is this trial
that I'm going through
Is  it to get up,
to go and to do?

I'm doing what's right
I'm passing the test
but what is that worth
If it's not my best

what can i change?
how can i grow?
what can i do with
the things that i know?

If disciples of Christ
are rooted in discipline
I've got a long way to go
before i can be like Him

I need to make changes
and sacrifice all
i'm feeling the fever
I must answer that call

If this place i'm in
is where i must bloom
Then i want to dive in
and escape my own doom

Grounded Flight

I'm at work and have had a long boring day. I found myself facebooking and decided to do something at least a little more productive (still not work related though, my bad :)
So I decided to write a poem. I started trying with a different format than I usually go for. It didn't work out so well. So I gave it one stanza in my regular form and VOILA! the magic happened and a poem came out that was totally unrelated to the original poem I started.
I have been thinking about how I live my life by logic and my thoughts are pretty structured. I guess this concept has been weighing on my mind a little heavier than i thought! here it goes

Grounded Flight

What happens when your force it?

It just comes out all wrong.

So i'll keep my format

and write a lovely song

What is it about structure

that manages my soul

I live my life by logic

but that makes my life dull

I tried to break the rules once

I tried to just be "free"

but that "freedom" just restrained me

and made it hard to see

I love a real good challenge

I love to try new things

as long as there is binding

to keep me from my wings

It sounds bad that way, i know;

to restrain a natural bird

but how does one write a novel

without learning a single word

With time and patience i'll soar

it has to be that way

'cause rules and regulation

keep the monster at bay

a chance for perfect flight

keeps me on the ground

because when life's played by the rules

true joy can be found

Sierra Vista!

Okay i need to be better about Posting about boys because obviously that last post got weird real fast. Anyways. I have lived with Vanessa and Nolan and Cashtyn for about 4 months now and have really loved it. Work was hard at first but I like it way better now that i'm used to it. I have to make some better goals because i'm getting really comfortable with this life, and Vanessa isn't going to be very happy if I never leave.
Because I am on Facebook so much, I feel like I have nothing to post on here because all my pictures and stories end up on facebook. I have no idea how long it will be before I post again cuz i don't post anything very often.

;)

Today I was taking notes in a meeting and found a poem that I wrote a couple months ago (on 12-12-11) . as you know i like to post them on here so they're safe and wont get lost. i'm pretty sure i wrote this because i was mad that i knew i was supposed to break up with my boyfriend but didn't really want to. kind of a strange one, but here it is :)

Born

Born to be a friend

Born to stand alone

I'll be a beacon of myself

and invite others home

Born to teach and lead

Born to learn and grow

I'll find myself a shred of time

and take the time to follow

Born to use my words

Born to find a voice

I need to be the me I am

and make the correct choice

Born to shine my light

Born to freely show

Was who I am predestined?

or made by where I go?

Born to let you down

Born to let you go

Start doing this--I know I can

I'll let my true heart show

told you it was weird...but i must have been thinking a lot about my calling and about going on a mission and about callings that I know I have in life and how it wasn't possible to keep dating that kid and keep going where i needed to go to be who i'm supposed to be. anyways.....

Christmas

dad worked super hard to have the yard all ready for the grandkids. It was fun for me Christmas evening to play Princesses with mal, syd, and bryn where the playgroud was the castle and the dog was the dragon. all Dad's work paid off because the girls loved it!

Monday evening Rachelle and Scott's family came up to Thatcher to go to dinner with Chad and Ash so i got to watch the girls and got them all riled up chasing them and teaching them to be baby tigers. it was so fun. we played games late and i fell asleep next to Tenley and just ended up calling in sick on tuesday. It was fun to see people in a little bit of a smaller setting so we could visit

In other news it's been so fun to be the jonesy living the closest to Chad and Ashley and their precious little baby Presley. I love going over there and visiting with them and watching the baby. she is so stinking cute and usually very happy. i'm looking foward to watching her more as Ashley has to start back at work a couple days a week soon.

Other than that i spend a lot of time at the home depot. I do stickers and some counting and other inventory related stuff. I peel a ton of stickers. this is just about an hour of stickers. some days i touch over 300 stickers. my hands are always black from the ink when i get home. I like it though. i've been there for almost a year and am working up with paid time off and am due for a raise. they really have been super good to me and I really like the people. 5am still stinks but i won't have to do that for much longer.

this is Edwin Darwin the Conqueror. ED for short. me and my roommate jolene bought him today. there was a random guy in the Bashas parking lot that was selling turtles for $10 so we bought one. it'll be an adventure that's for sure. he has already been down to the river twice and been skateboarding and met the neighbors and visited superstop and we haven't even had him for 24 hours.

All is well here in Thatcher. If everything goes according to plan this semester I will graduate with my Associates (just in generals) in May and then start my mission papers. I will turn 21 in August and plan on leaving shortly after. we'll see what happens though.

I've been super blessed here with a house close to the college with affordable rent, a good job, a car that gets me to my job, a good ward, and roommates and friends that take care of me. Mostly I am blessed to have the gospel in my life and to be in such a great place where there are a lot of people who are trying to do what's right. I am also blessed to live so close to a temple where i can go often and do some work for the dead there. life is good :) hope 2012 is just as good as 2011 was!

Callings and Poetry

it's currently 7:22 and i just got done with a training meeting for the Relief Society teachers in my ward. it really strengthened my testimony to see each of these girls and talk to them a little about teaching. i wanted to write a poem about my feelings lately so i decided taht instead of writing it on paper, i would just start it on here and see how it goes. if anyone even reads blogs anymore, i'm sorry that all you ever get from me is corny sentimental poetry. k it's 7:24 and i'm beginning

a fact seems like fiction, and i can't quite see

just how you will make this great person from me.

I watch each small change that you make in others

how you turn life's painting from gray to colors

but because I'm me, i can see each new flaw

i can't comprehend someday being a god.

you ask me to do things and i try my best

just hoping and praying, you'll fill in the rest

but then i get down when i see others soar

i just want to see all that you have in store

i know i'm not perfect; i don't give my all

i sometimes procrastinate, and often stall

like how in the world can i make a diff'rence

i trust that i can 'cause you've made that inf'rence

i'll give it my best because that's all i've got

i'll turn life to thee--every act, every thought

i'll try to become who you'll trust with your work

i'm learning slowly how to stand and not shirk

i'll be who you call when you're needing someone

so someday you'll say, "my daughter, well done"

...7:36. wow 12 mins....i just went through and edited it so that it is in one of those rhythm things. each line has 11 syllables except for the last one is only 10 on purpose. it's in almost a 3 rhythm it goes "duh DUH duh duh DUH duh duh DUH duh duh DUH" i know no one really cares about beats in poetry anymore, but i do. it makes it flow and more meaningful. anyways that is my thoughts on serving in the church <3

COLLEGE!

so i figure i'd tell my blog about my crazy life. i am the worst college kid ever. i have absolutely no social life or free time. but i am really involved so at least that's good. i currently work 5 days a week am taking only 13 credits but that includes choir and company which have a lot of extra stuff. I just got called as one of the 2 relief society presidents in our ward cuz we have 80-90 girls. I am also the institute choir pianist which i am not nearly talented enough to be playing for. so let me just give you an example of how a day goes for me. so here is today

4AM wake up/get ready

5-10AM work

10-11AM change and eat lunch

11-3PM Class

3-4 (right now) little break

4-5 help set up for relief society meeting (enrichment)

5-6 relief society meeting

6-7 presidency meeting to finish up some assignments

7-8 Choir secret practice for our test tomorrow

8-9 shower get ready for bed

9 sleep to get up at 4 the next day

right now almost everyday every single hour is planned of my day. even on weekends! it's crazy but somehow heavenly father is making it possible for it to happen and i haven't had anything super important overlap. one of my good friends the other day told me that he thinks that being this busy now is just preparing us to be busy in the future. he told me to imagine have 4 little kids to worry about and working and being the relief society pres. it was a really good perspective for me to think about. the Lord helps us grow little by little. i know that right now in my life is teaching me things that i will use for my family and my callings in the future.

i feel like because of how busy i am i am happy though. being productive is a very good thing and i feel productive every day! haha well thats the exciting college life of elise. haha looks like i'll be going on a mission because there is absolutely no time for boys right now :)

oatmeal cookies

i decided today that i am like an oatmeal raisin cookie. i was thinking about these particular cookies at work today and thought about how when they are the only sweet around, most people would take one and enjoy it. they're farely tastey. but if there was a plethora of treats to choose from they are chosen last. they look good, and they taste good, but there is something about knowing that they are better for you that makes people shy away from them.

i think as a person i'm definately this way. when there are a ton of other people around, i'll nonchalantly hide in the back ground, no big deal. but part of this i think is that people know i'm healthy for them. if that makes sense. i don't mean this in a conceded way at all. just that sometimes i'm a little much to handle and delve into life too deeply so people would rather choose the chocolate chip cookie or the snicker doodle before me, but in 10 minutes you'll want another cookie, or you'll want something to eat. an oatmeal raisin cookie has substance. the oatmeal will sustain you.

now that you all think i'm a weirdo, i'm done now. :)

2-2-11

so i've been pretty stressed the last few days about tons of stuff. So last night my mind was going crazy thinking about grama jones and school and whatever spencer's deal is. yeah and i knew that if i went in to my job interview this morning with all of it on my mind that i would do really poorly. so i tried to remember what i used to do to clear my head. i usually play the piano but it was like 11 so there was no where i could go. then i remembered that i used to write poems to clean my head out. it took me like 10 mins and i just rattled it off without even thinking about it. for some reason making my problems rhyme makes them make sense in my head. haha so here's what i wrote just for fun:

it seems there's times in one's life

when time just floats on by

without much effort on my part

my days each hit the sky

its in those times when i think to me

is this really real?

but on those days, i don't learn much

and there's not much to feel

then slowly, in a flash of light

the table starts to turn

i find it's on the harder side

when i really learn

i see myself just trudging by

not knowing what to do

and then i free myself from pride

and finally turn to you

why is it that i feel alone

when i need you most

but you can be the window

when the world's door's closed

i'll turn to you and try my best

to listen to your will

i'll cleanse myself and find some time

to sit and just be still

what you want is sometimes hard

for me to understand

i'll listen to the still small voice

and not my own demand

it will be rough, i know it will

but i can make it through

by opening a broken heart

and listening to you

i'm grateful for the things in life

that make it worth the pain

because through you i can be clean

and free from any stain

you made me who i am today

and who i will become

it helps to know of who i am

and where we all came from

thanks for the love you give to me

unconditionally

but mostly thanks for simply

for listening to me

COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT CUT MY PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i figured i should update you on my college life. i am LOVING EAC. there are so many peoplehere that i love and so much that i enjoy here. its so nice.

so this weekend we had company weekend. i danced for 24 hours in 5 days. it was awesome. i really am liking all of the people involved in the music program here. i'm not a music major, but i love the people and the music anyways....

this is me and jolene and jeremy. jolene is now one of my roommates. last semester we met her in our ward and has become one of my best friends ever. it's fun and i love her to death. we go to almost all the sporting events and paint our faces quite a lot.

kristi lived with us last semester and then got married in december. it was super fun for us to meet shannon and kristi and to get to know them so well. it was so nice to get to go to her reception in mesa over christmas break

this is jolene and me and jessica. i'm always with these two. jess is my best friend in the whole world and i have been so grateful to be able to share a room with her and get to know her.

this is all the girls i hung out with my first semester. we took lots of nice pics together

there are fires almost every weekend. it is crazy and super fun. this is at the homecoming bonfire

underneath the stage at fall sing with some of the girls from company

halloween!!!!! nat got to come up and hang out with me

anyways that is kind of a rough some up of my life. its super fun and i love it.

passion

okay so i was just going through some old emails that i wrote while i was in california. and i found this. i read through it and decided i wanted it somewhere where i would know where it was instead of hidden in my emails. this was the email i wrote mr. tenney after i watched the st. david choir perform at their competition. it is my feelings on passion, and it is super weird

so i had already decided that i would probably cry through the whole thing, but i've really had something against crying lately. i think it's because i could have so much to cry about right now and i decided that i was going to try to be happy and positive and not cry, so i don't cry. i mean i still cry just not about things of non-spiritual origin. well so i didn't want to cry because i knew that if i started crying i wouldn't be able to stop because i would have started feeling sorry for myself and would have cried because i wanted to be on stage and not because the show was bringing me to tears. honestly though singing and dancing are the only things i miss about st. david. i don't miss my friends or even my family because my friends weren't the right kind of friends, and my family i will be with forever. so i didn't want to cry just because i missed it. but something else happened.

(this is weird i'm warning you) i started shaking. at first i was like oh it's cold in here or i have the chills because of the show, but it was more than just the chills from good music. it was like my mind wouldn't let me think about how badly i wanted to be a part of the music, so my body started telling my mind what to do. i don't know if that makes sense, but it didn't really make sense to me either. because subconciously i was telling myself that i didn't need to be on that stage, but my body was telling me that i was supposed to be there. my head knew that music wasn't what i "wanted" but my whole self other than the logical part was telling me that the audience was the wrong place for me.

then you guys came back in and i was gonna get up and give hugs and tell people how impressed i had been, but i couldn't even get up because i knew if i said one word i was going to explode and just loose it. so then i started watching the next group and thats when i started crying. i didn't drop a single tear during your show but i bawled through the next 2. i just couldn't bare to think that those kids may never do anything real. they will always be doing the macarena. then poor natalie and rachael were so confused that i was crying.

well so then once i calmed down i started thinking about the hows and the whys and the what the craps. so this is my theory (it's weird again sorry)...

one year at girls camp we talked about morality and virtue and president merrill gave us a lesson on passion. he talked of course about physical intimacy being a passion, but then he talked to us about how being hungry was a passion and that you needed food to satisfy that passion. k so here are 2 definitions of passion:

-the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, especially something alien to one's nature or one's customary behavior.

-violent anger

k i know this is weird but think about it. food, you have to eat. your body demands it of your mind. sex, uh yea you get it. violence usually someone's head doesn't tell them to hit someone, it's an external, uncontrollable force. then this brings me to another definition of passion. one that is a little more important than either of those:

-the sufferings of christ on the cross or his sufferings subsequent to the last supper.

i take that to mean the atonement. when christ's body bled from every pore because of the love he had for each individual that had ever or would ever walk the earth, his body overpowered his mind and acted for itself and that my friend was passion greater than i can even imagine

therefore, my new definition for passion is this....

-any thing or idea that demands that the body should overpower the mind.

k this is a stretch from music, but i've thought a lot about why we need a body and why we have power over satan because of our bodies. because i've thought about the fact that satan still thinks and acts and understands things and such, so why does it matter if we are physical when our physical body, when separated from out spirit, is just inanimate. do you get what i'm saying? like your spirit is what makes your body work, and satan has a spirit, so why does a body matter? but then all of this has made me realize that a body holds literal power. maybe without the spirit it doesn't, and i guess spirit and body together make soul, so the soul has power and satan doesn't have that? i don't really know. this whole deal has provoked A LOT of questions. not only ones about the purposes of life and the plan of salvation, but smaller questions like "do i really want to graduate this summer? or do i want to go back to st. david and just deal with high school for another year if it means i can have all of this in my life?" or "do i really want to waste all my life on nursing? but then would i want to go to school with people who dont have the same feelings toward music as me?" and a lot more. well i'm sure i could write an entire book about this because my head has been going crazy, but this e-mail is already enormously long, so i'll stop for now, but MAYBE i'll write a song about this.

so uhm. for some reason today has been very thoughtful. i have a couple minutes before i have to go to institute so i figured i'd write down some of the stuff i've been thinking about. so i got asked today what i wanted out of life. i was like I want a family. i was then ask "no i mean like professionally" and i was like "well i'm going in to elementary education so i'll probably teach school and i'll love it, but i chose that because it will help me to be able to teach my future children." that was followed with "So all you want is your family?" and i was like " well i want a good family. i want to be a good enough parent that my kids will know how to make good choices even when i'm not around." i was then asked if that was what i wanted because my mom passed away. i was puzzled that that was the response. i said "no. it's because that is what life is about."

i think it's interesting that you can want something your whole life and then get to where you actually can study that and realize that's not really what you wanted afterall. i think one of the biggest things i've learned from being at EAC and from all the wonderful people here is that life is about preparing the earth for the second coming, not about seeing how much you personally can achieve. i feel like i've changed so much in the last couple months just because priorities are being realized. maybe it's just part of growing up and that everyone at 18 or 19 discovers that life isn't about what they thought it was. that it is about other people and not you. idk. it's been an interesting day......

poems

so i've been going through a bunch of my stuff getting ready to move, and i found some old poems i wrote while in california and then heidy kartchner gave me back one that she had that i wrote the last week of school so i figured i'd post them so i'd have them for later !

first is just one that i wrote about some thoughts i had at my first mutual activity while i lived in california. i didn't know anyone yet, and we were going ice skating. i had plenty to think about though and learned a lot from the ice. lol

Ode to an ice rink

Stepping onto the ice
I’ve never felt so alone
Not only new faces surround me
But things I can’t know til I’m grown

This ice has been battered
like me it’s been bruised
Its hopes have been shattered
By blades on my shoes
But its biggest mistakes
When rightly repaired
Are the ones I can’t feel with my skates

I see girls holding hands
Will each choose to support?
Or will one lose her balance
Help the other fall short
One girl does a jump
Neat tricks of all kinds
Because speed is required
Her fall is harder than mine

Stepping off of the ice
I can tell that I’ve grown
who thought from an ice rink
there was so much to be known

okay this one is one that i wrote at school one day in california. a boy at my high school had died the day before. i had never met him, but it caused a big stir at the school and got me to thinking.

The cycle of life creeps up to your path
in each turn you take on your journey
unconscious thoughts turn up each time
and give life it’s meaning and glory
birth marriage death—each a new page
but each brings new hope with new worry

the power of life, creation, and love
accompanies each son or daughter
whether struggling, secure, or down in the dumps
a new face makes your world brighter
but each child grows, the joy soon forgot
and life turns to a new chapter

then you see love the promise it brings
when life is so cruel and mundane
marriage pops up and you rest assured
‘cause life’s meaning shows up again
But what wil she do whenever she sees
That she someday will be without him

At last you meet death, it can’t be avoided
But a necessity for life
you learn a new love that pierces your soul
and gives your road a new bump called strife
but you put that behind you and discover that
you still have to continue your drive

then when hope’s disappeared, and your hearts only a hole
a miracle helps you go on.

and this last one is the most recent. it's probably the closest to my heart, so don't make fun of this one. lol. uhm i wrote it when i was convincing myself that EAC would be okay and that i didn't need time for me to go perform. yeah. anyways

Twelve years here and I’m done
I’m leaving for real now
I’ve made it through this messed up place
And now I’m wondering how

I’ve never been the perfect kid
Unless you’ve seen my grades
I learned here how to work real hard
But also to misbehave

There were times that I knew
People looked at me with admiration
I’ve seen that look in people’s eyes
That look of appreciation

But then came times when I knew
People saw through my sorry act
A look of questioning filled those eyes
And they’d turn their back

But life gave me a miracle!
I regained confidence
I was blessed with sunlight
After living in a trench

I spent a year flying high
And reminding me of me
I learned about what bondage is
And that I was finally free

But now I new turn takes the stage
And I don’t know what to do
Again I’ll get that awful look
Of disappointment from you

Everyday I’m told the same:
“do what will make YOU happy”
I wish that someone else just saw
That this choice has nothing to do with ME

Yes, it’s MY life but I know me
I know I’ll make the most
Because this virus gets passed along
I’m just the current host

Life’s not about what I choose
To make MY life the best
If anybody else could see
It’d be a weight off of my chest

What I do affects the world
And people who love me
So why did I choose to
Make it hard to be who I will be

I’ll step it up and take the challenge
I’m not known to back down
I’ll make my life what it could be
And not continue bound

12 years from now I’ll look down and see
what’s on this page
and realize through smiling eyes
that this was just a phase

life will goe on no matter what
and I know the part I’ll play
I’ll choose to be who I know I am
By what I choose today

Maybe this seems a selfish choice
But it’s not about money
Its about knowing all I can
When my father in heaven calls me

uhm i love poetry. it is one of the easiest ways for me to express myself. sometimes it's REALLY gay and corny, but for some reason, when life rhymes it makes more sense.

MAY!!!!!!!

so the end of this year was pretty crazy. i had to rest for a whole month to have to strength to write about it; that's how exhausted i was ;) well first was my theatre show. here's a couple of cute girls before the show started opening night! it was super fun and i learned A TON! i really liked working with the kids and cried in young womens one day when i talked about using it for a project. i made some really lasting memories. next came the end of the year choir performance. things were crazy and there were some rough feelings being tossed around. because of that i kinda feel like i got jipped. i didn't even cry afterwards even though i knew it would be my last show with the group. but that night wasn't really about me. and i'm glad it wasn't cuz uh there were some issues. anyways....it was still fun and i still danced as hard as i could. i actually stepped on a hair straightener right before so i had to put on my character shoes with a huge blister on my foot. it sucked, but i got through it. lol.

this picture is me and kylee brubaker and rachael larson. they're 2 of my bestest friends! then came senior trip. the theme parks were super fun (and exhausting)!!!! i love roller coasters so i did just about everything there was to do at 6 flags and knotts. my favorite part BY FAR was medieval times though. it really was incredible. between the acting and animal training and FOOD it was really my kind of show. super cool. definately wanna go back

this is me and jessica mayberry (she's living with me at EAC) and the red knight! our guy won, which made it even more exciting!

the whole 12 of us who went on senior trip outside of medieval times

uh and this one is self explainitory! :)

then came graduation. the ceremony was good. some really weird crap happened and our musical number kind of got uh messed up, but whatever.

me and brady and sam. i didn't walk with them, but we're friends

me speaking. with our HUGE class behind me. lol i was salutitorian and talked about perserverence. i got like $2250 cash scholarship plus the full 2 years at EAC ($3000 value)

i didn't do bad, but i wish i had applied for more and not been such a stink about college

me and my bestest friend kylee. she definately made this year fun for me. i'm gonna miss her when i leave.

and camille made my cap. i was stressin out cuz i decorated then went to weston's graduation and was freakin out about my speech and my hair and crap in between the graduations. cam asked me what i wanted and i said spongebob. she was like "that's it?" and i said yeah, so she went crazy and made him 3D and out of real sponges!!!!! i liked mine the best

the best thing about graduation however happened the weekend before senior trip. i had the opportunity to sing and dance for our prophet! the Temple Cultural Celebration was INCREDIBLE!!!!! i don't even know how to explain what kind of experience it was to be totally stressed and running around for 2 days rehearsing and then having the prophet there and the spirit of calm that made the performance happen. i witnessed miracles while preparing for the celebration and it was easily top 3 experiences of my whole life. it could even be number 1. idk.

this is just a bunch of kids from our stake 2 hours before show time. all the people in the back is the line to get in. everyone was in their seats about an hour before the prophet showed up. it was really an incredible experience.

the next day was the dedication and i bawled the whole time. we watched the noon session and even just in a stake center you could feel the prophets presence and the spirit of the temple. it really reaffirmed my testimony of temple and that they are the only place worth getting married in. the amount of effort and service that went in to our temple was incredible. everyone wanted to help and everyone was happy about it. it wasn't one of those service projects that you just help with cuz you know your supposed to. it was a service project where the heavens opened and the blessing were almost immediate. the temple closer has changed so many lives including mine.

that week before graduation i still didn't know what i was doing after high school or where i was going. being around people who have the same standards as me and feeling the support that was there made me really hope that i would have good friends where ever i ended up. well i had been fasting and praying about what to do and where to go and feeling the sacrifice that people gave to have a temple so close made me want to do the same. choosing to go to EAC wasnt really a sacrifice at all. more of a blessing, but i guess it hurt my pride a little. i knew that i NEEDED to be where i could feel that support from people with the same standards and where i could visit the temple often, even just for baptisms.

the church is true and heavenly father does answer prayers. i know i will be where he wants me next year and there won't be any more questions asked. he loves me and would never want me to be somewhere where i'd be unhappy.

life

well there is a lot to say since i haven't written anything for a long time...
i've been really busy lately. English 102 is kicking my butt and i'm pretty sure that i'm gonna get a 'C'. it's all good though as long as i pass. The musical that i was given the opportunity to direct was the last 2 weekends (along with vanessa's wedding). The show went really well and i was so incredibly grateful that i came back to school here. no where else in the world would have let me get to be a director and it was really neat to get that chance and learn a lot more. it helped nurish my love for theatre. i'll have to post some of the pictures we took at the after party where we burned the cow.

so i was thinking on sunday (sorry this is really random and has nothing to do with anything else i've said) but i was thinking...I'm still reaping the not so great rewards of having the wrong friends early in high school. i saw some people who had been some of my best friends and I saw how unhappy they were. It made my heart hurt so bad. i then began to think of all the people that i love who once meant so much to me and as i started to think about where there life was going and how they were going to turn out and it made me so sad. It still hurts to see people that i love making bad choices and i chose the wrong people to love. that sounds bad but if i had only cared about the right people i would be happy now in seeing them make good decisions. i thought i was helping these people when i was really only hurting myself. but i did build relationships and it sucks to see that there is nothing i can do to make my old friends want what is best. anyways....just one more consequence to making bad choices...don't do it...if this were the only consequence, it still wouldn't be worth it. <3

BLECK!

BLECK! is the only possible word i can use to describe how i feel right now. it's been an incredibly interesting week. so wednesday it was confirmed that one of my friends is pregnant. i had really been rootin for her and she had been trying so hard to do what was right, but everyone makes mistakes and now she is going to have a baby. i decided that maybe she needed a visit and some comfort so i didn't really go to school thursday. i signed myself out and went and bought her flowers and talked with her for like 3 hours. it was a really good discussion and taught me a lot about when to listen to the spirit even if it means missing school :) then friday was state basketball playoffs. i ended up joining cheer like 3 weeks ago along with kylee brubaker and rachael larson, so state was supposed to be super duper fun...WRONG-O!!! i hadn't had the flu in 6 years and low and behold i find myself puking up spinach dip all night in a ghetto motel in prescott. that's the sickest i think i've ever been in my whole life. i had a fever and was shivering like CRAZY business. good thing leah was there for comfort and to force me to drink some gatorade, and jean was an angel and stayed with me in the van while the rest of the cheersters went shopping. anyways that was the most miserable 5 hour drive home of my life. good thing there was no school monday (today) to give me one more day to recuperate (i'm feeling MUCH better now) anyways we had rehearsals for 4 hours AGAIN this morning, and i had kind of been excited for them all week--i know typical elise choir geek to be excited for out of school rehearsals--but having not really eatin a meal in 3 days, rehearsals didn't go so well. i sat on the couch most of the time and attempted to dance the last run of the show. then for family home evening tonight my lovely parents decided to force me to fill out scholarships. i want to go to college, and i want to go for free, i just don't want to do any paperwork. i dont know where i want to go or what i want to be yet though, so scholarships are loads of fun making up ambitions and feeling crappy knowing that i really have no clue. i'm hoping to get full ride to more than one jr. college though and then at least i'll be able to pick and not just be stuck with EA. anyways this is mostly just a venting post because it's been such a crappy week. maybe this week will bring better fortune....at least i can't get the flu again right??? oh and i figure...while i'm at this, i may as well post some random pics that wouldn't get posted otherwise. ness bought me a bomb camera for christmas, so i've taken A TON of pictures sense then....heres some fun ones

me and my bestest friend patrick just chillin :D

natalie on christmas morning (i think?)

freaky toes (in the car on the way to cali)

this is my avatar's eyes ha ha ha

...

and the last one's just me getting ready for a stake dance or something...sorry i'm so weird...ha haha...jk i'm not really sorry at all....

more senior pics

okay, so we've already established that i'm not photogenic, but here are some of the pictures that we took while in california. and i like them better, so yeah..............

Senior Pix

ummm....here's the start of some senior pictures...me and dad are gonna go out to the railroad and take some more on saturday if he has time, so i'll post them later, but i really would like people's opinion on which i should put up in the Jones Hall of Fame for eternity.

i thought about going and getting some done professionally, but i'm really not photo genic AT ALL so it's nice to be able to take a bunch and delete most of them. so if you'd comment and tell me which you like, and if you don't like any of them, then don't comment cuz that's mean.... ;)

also we took some fun pictures of the kids at home.....

DREAMBOY!!!

ha ha ha...i haven't posted anything in over 2 months...i'm a slacker! well just a little over a week ago was one of st. david's two formal dances: dreamboy. i decided to ask a boy from my ward that i haven't never really talked to in my life, but he seemed like a good idea. it turned out to be really good and i had a really fun time. i ended up being crowned the dreamboy princess, and that was neat. here are some picture of me and the boy who was crowned "dream boy" (not my date)

thanks to leah's sister-in-law brynna, i had one of the prettiest dresses at the dance, and really did feel like a princess even if i complained about my hair...