SPRING!!!

grama and grampa got their sprinklers redone recently, we've been very busy since early this spring replanting things that had been taken out for the sprinklers...here's a few pictures of some of the things that i've put in, plus a few of my favorite plants in the yard....

these orange african daisy's are my FAVORITE (when they're open of course)

this is an old wheel barrow that has more african daisy's in it.

i just LOVE them!!!

these are some petunias under the big front window that i planted a few weeks ago
i try to talk to them every couple days to encourage them to grow...




these are the pansies that i planted really early in the spring (Feb)
they're finally getting big and filling in

more pansies....

now this is the latest attraction...

the last few days we've all been working hard at putting in this little bridge and stream

here's the full veiw...

anyways...it's not finished, as you can tell from the empty stacked pots on the side, but in the next few days or weeks we'll get the rest of that in. i really love the spring. it's so happy. california's fertile ground sure beats boring old arizona's bland rocks ;)...

the los angeles temple

okay so i really should be writing stuff down in my journal, but i really hate writing my journal, so i blog so all of you guys are pretty much reading what i would have written in my journal, so respect it! :D plus this is prolly gonna be a really long one, so if you don't really wanna read it then don't. cuz this is my life. i'm totally fine with anyone reading it of course, i just don't want to be missunderstood. ya know??

so we'll start with sunday of my week. sunday was a rough day for me....taking the sacrament has been really special for me lately, and sunday it especially touched me and then the patriarch spoke. he didn't talk about patriarchal blessings, but he talked about free agency. he gave some examples of people in his life. well to try to make this shorter, one of them was pretty much the only member in his family, and made some really good choices as a teenager ALONE and has now been a bishop and stake president. the other had a strong family and had been raised right, but made some not so smart decisions at 17 and ended getting married and then divorced and has never really been happy and can't seem to understand why his life is hard. well of course by the time he was done saying that i was crying. i just couldn't help but see the me that i was 4 months ago growing up and ending up shacked up and knocked up in ghetto little st. david. it would have been so easy to get there. well then we were getting ready to go on a temple trip and i needed another interveiw with bishop to get okayed to go, and he was out of town. well that was discouraging cuz i really felt like i just needed to be there and that i was ready to be there. well then after young womens i talked to the couselor in the bishopric and he said that bishop had put my name on the temple recommend list before he left. i was ecstatic! well then after church i ended up calling natalie and just crying to her and actually almost yelling at her about how dumb i was and how the things i had done had jeopardized so much....then came monday

well after school....as you know from the below post....we went to go try to get me into some english classes so that i could graduate at the end of summer. well then that went to pot and i was really upset. two days in a row i bawled my head off for making dumb decisions that made life so much more complicated. well i talked to Dad about options and i ended up just being mad and crying more to him and i honestly think i may have scared him a little bit because i was a mess. well after lots of talking and lots of prayers on elise's end..we decided that the decision can't be made yet, so i may be here another semester, but that mostly only means i'll be able to go to GIRLS' CAMP BABY!!!! in california (sorry all you amazing arizonites). then comes tuesday....

when i got home from school i had an email asking if i would meet with the bishop for a temple recommend interveiw. that scared me a little bit of course, but i knew it would be fine cuz i knew that i was temple worthy. well then i also had an email from the oh so marvelous Alison asking if i would help her with her math homework. yea, she's smarter than me, so that didn't work out so well. but it was fun. then we went to the interveiw. of course that went well. then i got home and decided that i had some big decisions to be making in the next couple days/weeks so i would go to the temple fasting. well then when i went to bed that night i read my scriptures, as always, and then knelt down to say my prayers and open my fast for the following day. well for some reason i couldn't get myself to dedicate my fast to my decisions. i just felt like i was stressed and that my fast would be hard and irreverent if doing that. and i couldn't get this impression to shake that i needed to fast for something else...something so much more important...and then for the first time in my life i opened a fast of gratitude. i knelt there bawling my head off (3rd night in a row) and thought of all the things i had to be thankful for in this beautiful life. and then after closing my prayer i decided that along with my fast all of my prayers on wednesday would be prayers of only thanksgiving.

well of course i was asked to give opening prayer in seminary, so i asked for one thing for all of us kids in seminary. so prayer has become a bigger part of my life in the last few years than i thought it ever could be. well at school here it's become something that i can rely on seeing as i don't know too many people and even those that i do know i don't want to become so close with them that their veiws will start effecting any of my decisions. so multiple times during the day i had a hard time trying to think of things to be grateful for instead of asking for help and strength throughout the day. then school ended and i got to have the humbling experience of doing baptisms for those on the other side of the veil.

Los Angeles Temple

sitting in the chapel dressed in a white jump suit i had a little bit of time to think, and then bishop asked me to say the opening prayer. well number one i only wanted to use thanks. second, i knew my emotions were still very frail from the previous few days. third i stood there and looked at the youth and saw all these amazing kids that i had grown to love so much in the last couple months especially and felt like the least worthy person in the room to be praying to open their temple experience. i mean not that i'm any less worthy than any of them right now, but i couldn't even imagine that any of these kids, who were surrounded by so much more bad, would ever even think of giving any heed to satan's painful plan. yea so it was a hard prayer for me (i did end up asking for one or two things again, but it was a pretty decent length prayer.) well then on top of all that the coordinater guy that talked to us right after that, talked about the spirits being granted the priviledge of being in the temple when their work was done, and i couldn't help but feel like there were a few special spirits there who were only there for me and were super proud of me and telling the other spirits there that one of their posterity was finally choosing the right so that she could do their work. the temple was just gorgeous.

then at about 7:30 or so my belly was finally satisfied with a large bowl of rice and orange chicken from panda express :)

then that evening i decided to dedicate my regular book of mormon reading to doing a little bit of studying on gratitude and any possible correlation that it could have with decision making and this is what i found :

well first off i read this verse, i'm only posting this for any of you who are current on my Michael escapades enjoyment....

Doctrine & Covenants 78

16 who hath appointed Michael your prince,

and established his feet and set him upon high.

anyways....the actual scriptures that helped (also in 78

17 verily verily i say unto you, ye are little children and ye have not as

yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own

hands and prepared for you;

18 and ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer for i will lead you along.

the kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours

19 and he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious;

and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more

and then i found...

Doctrine & Covenants 97

12.....that there may be a house built unto me for the salvation of Zion--

13 for a place of thanksgiving for all saints and a place of instruction....

i'll let you (whomever you are) interpret those as you would, but all i know is that for the 4th night in a row i was crying, but for some reason i knew that i was alright. no matter what i do or what happens schoolwise and whatnot i am going to be okay because i have the lord on my side and he'll support me.

anyways i knew that was going to be a long one, but the whole point of that is that i'm obviously here (in california rather than idaho) because the circumstances here are what i needed. yet again the church has proven to me to be the only truth and security this world is offering right now....<3

Stress Mess...

holy talito burrito!!! my life is spaztic. i pretty much had an emotional/ mental breakdown today. it's okay though. i have a feeling that it will be the first of many. school isn't working out the way i want it to, and as it turns out, for me to be able to graduate early, i have to start now and go to school from 3:30-5:30 mon-thurs to get my senior english out of the way before fall. yea and that owuldn't be bad, but the school that i would be doing that at is in "mission hills" which is like a half hour or so from here. so it gives me an excuse to get a car, but between gas and insurance, that's like all my savings. it's a little bit of a predicament (sp?) . anyways... i'll explain more later, but i need to go shower and go to bed. oh as for prom shoes....this is last year....

these are a couple of pictures that vicki (my aunt for any of you who don't know her) took at our easter brunch on saturday...

of course it was a little change from 40 little kids running around at the farm to 4 people (most of whom are no longer kids) searching for easter eggs. it was fun though. it's been fun while i'm here to get to be a part of all the traditions that this side of the family has that i've never been to before.

as for spring break...it's been fairly eventful.

monday i just slept in and didn't have too busy of a day (i don't think. i can't really remember that far back) then tuesday i had mutual and me and one of the girls in my ward, Alison, slept over at a girl in my stake's house, Keala. it was really fun, and it was relieving for me to get to be around normal people. then wednesday the shoe escapade started.

so i've been looking for a pair of shoes to wear to prom. well i'm not really a high heel short of person, and i have a feeling that this prom is gonna be a little nicer than the ones in the multipurpose room at st. david high school. in fact on the permission slip it says "formal shoes are to be worn. No flipflops" of course that's a major bummer. i think that kinda means i can't wear my converse like i did to last year's prom. yea if i had pictures of that here, i would have put them on cuz they're funny. so i've been looking for nice shoes. it didn't help that i had gone to bed at 6:30 that morning and wasn't really all the way there if you know what i mean. so me and aunt lynn looked for like 3 hours at shoes. all sorts of shoes. but seeing as big heels are in style right now especially for teens, that's all we could find. well that wouldn't have been a problem, but numero uno, i couldn't walk 10 feet in the mall in heels, let alone for 5 hours while wearing a dress that touches the floor. and numero dos, i'm paranoid and don't want to be taller than my date and seeing as i have a fad for big hair, shoes pretty much have to have no heel. poor michael wasn't exactly blessed with great stature, but that's okay cuz he's still cute, and it gives me a good reason to prevent my feet from hurting.

so finally i bought a pair of black heels from macy's that were satin instead of like leather or fake crap. but i wasn't in love with them, they had a 2 or 2 1/2 inch heel, and uh most importantly i paid $80 for them. i know i'm a psycho. so then i wasn't happy, but at least i had a secure pair of shoes that could be used if i didn't find anything else. then the next day me and grama and grampa went to a different mall and looked at shoes and accessories and easter dresses. well i found pretty much exactly what i wanted at claires and we found a dress that i actually have on right now that is really comfy, but shoes were still annoying. finally we went to JC Penny's and i looked at shoes and guess what?? i spent another $50 and bought 2 more pairs of shoes. well then that evening lindsay and vicki swung by on the way home from the hospital where vicki's mom is, (she just got her gall bladder taken out) and they invited me to spend the night in simi. well so i went with them and watched a million movies and went to the mall and spent more money on clothes and then i ended up staying another night and just came back with them yesterday morning for the easter brunch.

well i think i've decided that i'm going to return the $80 shoes and a $20 pair of heels i bought and keep the cheapest looking ones. they're flats, and are shiny black snake skin. no worries they're not as weird as they sound, but they aren't very fancy. i feel bad, but at leats they'll be comfortable and hopefully will keep me shorter than mr. michael. anyways... that was a lot of long pointless babble, but whateves....

light in the dark!

holy heavens first off, the church is true of course. the young women's general broadcast was amazing!!! it seriously like changed my life. it made me really excited for conference and i hardly ever get excited for 8 hours of listening. well okay i'm going to share with all you (whomever you are that is reading this) an experience i had this week.

okay first off, this sunday i fasted that i would have a better week and that i would feel like i was happier at school and wanted to be there and fit in better. by tuesday evening i was like floored by the mood fasting can put you in. it had been a couple of really good days and i finally felt like i was getting to know people in my classes and wasn't afraid to talk or whatever. well the tuesday night i watched the broadcast and decided to take notes so that i would really pay attention. of course i got a little emotional at a couple parts but there was one thing that hit me relaly hard. president monson has said some funny things and kinda been joking around a little bit while talking about the differences in todays world and the world that he grew up in. well of course after explaining what a blessing all the technology we have is he pointed out that it can easily be a downfall and that there are so many immoral things that we can get into. well then he posed a question--does this give us permission to be immoral because it's all around us ?? then he did something that just hit me so hard. he was totally blunt and straightforward and answered that question for us "NO. the answer is no. absolutely not." and then after that profound statement he continued to explain that it wasn't no because of dangers or because it can ruin your life but the answer is "no because it's wrong." then wednesday came.

the morning was a little rough because a gay kid in my PE class was talking to me about seminary and he was kind of teasing me about going to church every morning and stuff (he's a friend though, so it wasn't mean teasing just awkward) then i actually was happy to have the opportunity to talk to one of my friends miranda and tell her that i was a mormon and her response was "Ooh....that's why you don't have sex." i almost laughed out loud but i was like yea and we had a good talk and it was cool. well the rest of the morning was really good and i actually found myself saying a prayer of gratitude at lunch for a very obvious answer to my fast. well then 4th period came. first off you need to know a little background for that class. there's 5 girls of at least 30 kids and my teacher likes me. i sit right in front by him and i have the highest grade in that class (i think) it's still a 'B' though which is proving that that class really doesn't apply themselves. well he (my teacher) asked me if i wanted to buy tickets to a breakfast to support his volleyball team. i thought that maybe i would, but then he told me it was on a sunday. i tried to be nice and only said that i didn't leave the house much on sundays. he responded by saying that i could bring grama and grampa and that it would be supporting the school, so i (teasingly, yet stupidly) was like "mr. sheriff, that's against the ten commandments!" i know that sounds really awkward, but it wasn't that bad cuz we were joking around. so we talked a little bit about keeping the sabbath day holy and it was good. well then he and one of the boys in my class started talking about a girl on the volleyball team who's like a really good basketball player

the teacher got out a poster to show Alex who this girl was, and there were two of the boys volleyball players in the picture. and me, being who i am, made a comment that one of them was hot. well of course that made me teacher interested. he asked me which one so i told him. his next comment was "you should hook up with him." i was definately not expecting that to be the reply. i gave mr. sheriff a face and was like i don't think so. he was like "no seriously, go up to him and tell him that he's hot and ask him if he wants to hook up." i was totally appalled! i couldn't believe that people actually did that let alone that my teacher was encouraging me to do so. i explained that i don't just "hook up" with people. mr. sheriff was like "I see. you want a nice real boyfriend that you can bring home to grama and grampa." and i couldn't even just let him live with that. all i could think of was "no. the answer is no. absolutely not." i looked at the teacher and was like "i don't even want that." he and alex were taken by surprise that i didn't want a boyfriend. so mr. sheriff assumed what he assumed was the only thing left to assume. "oh, so your a lesbian." statement, not a question! and alex was like "that's exactly waht i was thinkin" there was no room for me to explain. that was the end of the conversation. of course i don't think that either of them really believe that i'm a lesbian, but even if i was that would be totally socially exceptable. a few minutes later the bell rang. i was absolutely furious!! i walked to my next class on the brink of tears. and it wasn't that they had assumed i was a lesbian. it was that neither of them could even fathom that there was still good (or a desire for good) in this world still. if i wasn't doing what was wrong and sleeping around with the volleyball team, i must not be straight. i was totally just dumbstruck. i felt so awful. did they honestly not know?? was there no even prospect for good in their minds??? english was kind of a blur and danny commented "wow elise, you're kinda staring into space. you don't look like you're really there." and i wasn't. my mind was going 1000 mph and i was trying to find some solution in my head. then i walked to 6th hour still stunned even to the point that i couldn't even flirt with michael (poor kid doesn't even know me:) then 6th hour gave me a little hope. i don't even remember what kim said but she said something that put a smile back on my face and i remembered that i may only be one in a few here, but that there are 13 million saints across the world that have the same standards as me.

anyways...that's my first real experience with really different beliefs. i mean i've talked about the church a lot of times since i've been here, but usually i try to avoid it and end the conversation at the beginning. not because i'm ashamed, but because it's complicated. but pres. monsons words have already had a toll on me. i hope that this conference will have much more of that spiritual feeding in it. i'm sure it will, and i'm eager to hear what else our prophets have to say about how to live in this world. well ....i guess thats all for now....until we all unite again...9:00 saturday morning!!! <3